I have been reminded how much I never want to have kids. All morning I've been looking at parenting websites as part of my internship, and according to the ever knowledgeable interwebs, babies are tiny demon soul eaters, toddlers only scream and cry, young children are brats, and teenagers are basically the facial herpes of parenting. I've just read an article on how to change a baby girl's diaper, which goes into a lot more detail than I needed. Do I really need to read this? Do I really have to research parenting websites for marketing a book? Sadly, yes. If there was ever a form of birth control, this is it.
And then there are the large amount of sites dedicated to giving advice on how to deal with teenagers. Like they're a different species. Which, you know, they might be. I haven't been a teenager for almost TWO WHOLE YEARS now, and I'm already feeling a generation gap. Like with those stupid shaped rubber band bracelets. What's the point? I'll tell you what the point is - there is none. ABSOLUTELY NONE. It's like, "OH MY GOD IT'S IN THE SHAPE OF A HUMBACK WHALE! And now I'll put it on my wrist and it becomes RANDOM SQUIGGLES."
God I'm old. Pretty soon my knees will give out, I'll have to use a cane, and my plan of being a two-fast-red-corvette-driving old lady will have to take effect. But I draw the line at cats. I will not have fifity cats. I will have great danes and rottweilers. If all goes according to plan, I will also have a castle, a moat, and fifty alligators.
I was trying to make it through today without being crazy, but I guess that's out. And I was only two hours in.
But you know, trying to entertain myself by writing a semi-crazy blog post is the only way I can make it to lunch. And then after that I'll probably become a miserable wreck trying to drag myself through the afternoon. And then on the way home, I will pass out on the T, miss my stop, end up at Boston College, and get trapped inside a T all night.
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